If you'd just like to step behind the screen and slip your clothes off and I'll be with you in a moment.
OK, let's have look at you.
Right, that'll be fine.
Actually could I just take a photo?
Oh, go on it's a Polaroid camera. I won't need to get it developed at a chemist.
I tell you what. Come here, sit on my knee and we'll talk about it.
No?
Look it's all lies about me being struck off, honestly.
She made those stories up.
OK, clear off then.